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6/9/2009 夏日多雷雨，小心领便当曾经有朋友感叹说，生活有时真是像足了肥皂剧。
不置可否。也许是不错的，不然怎来的这十足的看客之意。
这是在自己活在戏外时的台词。那种事不关己的漠然。
当那天看着耀眼的亮光将天空撕裂在自己面前，毫无时间差的闷响从头顶落下，我只有将自己定格的能力。
宁可感觉害怕却什么知觉也没有的空虚。
我想喊“卡”，却也明白自己不是场外那个看着镜头笑的人。
若天在这时要我领便当，最后一秒能做的也许就是努力壮烈一些或者美艳一些，像个主角的样子。
今天无意点入C. Y. Kong的blog，才知道原来写《浮夸》竟是出于张国荣自绝的。
不想多说。引文如下：
浮誇 (Depression / DPS)
Music: C. Y. Kong | Lyrics: 黃偉文 Wyman Wong | Arrange: C. Y. in London
This was written the night of April 1st, 2003. It was called Depression in the 1st place. A feeling of, like I wanted to ask ''why?'' or ''why does one has to commit suicide''. I pictured that you see this spirit of the person somewhere around, and you so wanted to ask him why he's gone, or doesn't he know there're so many people who care for him still. Hence there is this ghostly synth sound in the song.
Eason picked this song quite early in 2004 ... So it was not until January 2005 that we started planning on getting this into the studio. Alvin asked me to change the working title, because he doesn't want to be reminded of the word ''Depression'' so I changed the working title to DPS.
Obviously, they didn't want to go for my original idea about talking to the dead, it's way to heavy ... so Wyman wrote the final lyrics ... Alvin & Eason did the vocals, I think, in Late February/early March ... After I got the vocals, I added the vocoder. Not a lot of people use vocoders on medium/slow tempo songs these days. I thought it would enhance the mood a lot, and it kinda reminds me of some 70s songs when the vocoder was widely used.
如果一定有什么想说的话，我只想问——
Wyman同学，你在想什么……
Anyway，在耳朵聋了半天之后，我还活在这里。
生活纵然虚妄，撑死也就是肥皂剧。
不会变成玄幻，我也不会穿越。
我依然可以抱着我的mac过着与世隔绝的宅日子。
补完交涉人。身材让我鼻血的米仓姐姐。妖异的城田优。
重拾苍之涛。可以预见的悲剧。没有姬良可爱的桓远之。
还有一件可以预见的事。
不久之后，我身上将半点人气也无。 6/2/2009 最后的loli时光——首先，為什么我的google拼音變繁體了……這看起來很火星文，我冤枉啊……
——哦，好像又好了……
总是觉得应该在生日的时候写点什么的，但昨日里一翻旧日志发现自己竟然从来没挑生日写过什么。
大概这个“总是”完全是自己的错觉了。
想想也是。22岁。有什么特殊么……
对男同胞们也许还有些，对姑娘我无非是又失去了一点装loli的资本罢了。
无所事事的生日。
只是纵容自己把一整袋虾干都吞进了肚里。
一边啃一边在心里碎碎念，虾算什么，我要吃的是蟹啊……咸枪蟹啊……
然后便想，去年晚点去签证就好了，这样我现在就应该还在宁波，面对着一桌虾蟹蛏子鳗鱼带鱼。
一个人无聊的时候总太容易在时间轴上乱爬，然后盯着某个点妄图涂涂抹抹。
在这样怨念的攀爬中，一袋小核桃又宣告从世上消失了。
昨日里真正纪念的是某段两角辫的loli时光。
应该有人会很怀念吧……
上王道告慰众人。曾经可以不去考虑路在何方的放肆年华。
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